Marriage Series (#5)-Settling In

The wedding, the first night jitters and long honeymoon are behind our happy couple now so what comes next? It is time to settle in! This does not mean that the celebration of the love between our couple should end though. Life will just start to take a bit of a different shape. For instance, even in marriage we have to get back to jobs, to chores and see how our own individual routines mesh with our “couple routines”.

Early on we talked about the importance of spouses complimenting one another, now that will become a bit more evident. Back in the day you might have heard stories of settling in that went like this:

Once upon a time Jack met Ruby, they fell in love, they got married and had a bus load of kids. Jack went to work, Ruby stayed home to take care of the children and make their house a home. Kids grew up and had kids of their own, Jack and Ruby sat on the porch in their rocking chairs sipping on lemonade and talking about the days of old.

Sound familiar? Our world does look quite different now, from the way Jack and Ruby might meet, how many children they do, or don’t have, and what they do with the future. Nevertheless, they will still have to settle in. It is highly likely, in most situations that they will both work. It is highly likely that they will both take an active role in parenting and even with chores. It is also highly likely, very early on in the marriage that they will have a bit of a struggle with the feeling of “losing their sense of self”.

Rest assured though the Bible has given us some really great reminders of what our true roles in marriage are. Basic question, why did God create Eve? Beginning in Genesis 2:18 we see that God does not feel it is good for Adam to be alone and later mentions there was not a suitable helper for him. Adam falls into a deep sleep, God takes one of his ribs and forms Eve and presents her to him. This shows us that we are meant to help (compliment) one another in all things. As a married couple, we share the responsibilities of providing for (this could many in any way from financially to emotionally) for one another.

As the couple settles in they can help each other. They can fill in the gaps for one another, they can both throw out the trash, schedule the dentist appointments, cook the meals, drive, work. Spouses can even have fun doing some of these things such as cooking a meal together or sharing in the driving on a long road trip. My husband and I have experienced not only fun but great growth in some of these moments. Guess what else, the couple can do? They can still mesh their individual routines such as working out or daily reading etc. with their new life together. We all have different likes, dislikes, interests and hobbies and marriage doesn’t mean that they have to be replaced with a “honey-do” list. In marriage you have to settle in by establishing a life that celebrates each others individuality (because God did create us with our own heart full of gifts and talents-Psalm 139:14) as well as celebrates the ability to help one another through our journey. Sure some adjustments may need to be made as far as scheduling to meet your household needs but that doesn’t mean you have to abandon those things all together. Marriage is not meant to be a prison sentence it is a meant to be a blessing. Couples need to settle into the idea that God intends for marriage to be a positive enhancement to our lives not a negative.

In all things though, we need to remember to show one another love and respect. Next, time we will talk about that verse that gets misconstrued on nearly a daily basis…you know the one…the one about submission.

Lord, I pray you would bless the couples who are settling in today. May you remind them that they each bring individual strengths to the marriage table and can rely on one another with love and respect. In Jesus name. Amen.

Be blessed today!

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