I feel like there are some pretty common statements/questions that are made to the bride once she is engaged. First, it is “Congratulations, I am so excited for you!” “Who is going to be your Maid of Honor?” and then there is either “Can I help you plan your wedding?” or “What kind of wedding are you going to have?”
Before we continue let me ask you to think about how you would change things up. What would you ask?
I, being a person who has been married TWICE, yes I said it, I am a Christian woman who has been married TWICE! (I am sure if my blog ever takes off that will be a talking piece) can honestly say, I would ask very different questions. Common questions like are you on the same page on roles, children, finances, goals and sex as a couple but most importantly have you both committed to having a Christ-centered marriage?
The most important aspect of planning isn’t about the wedding at all. While weddings are beautiful and for some a really fun occasion to plan for, it is really about planning a life together that is most important.
I hope and pray you have not had the wind knocked out of you by the statements above. As a matter of fact, I challenge you to feel more excited than ever. You are about to endeavor on a lifelong journey with the love of your life! Here are 2 things I know for sure: You want God on that journey and you want to make a huge effort to communicate openly and honestly with one another.
In a marriage the couple should compliment one another. Not in the “that dress looks nice” type of way but where the woman and the man acknowledge and realize that they each bring strengths and weaknesses to the table. Throughout your marriage journey keeping Christ as your focus and open communication will help you have a more fulfilling lifetime together.
Here are some verses to help you start planning and yes, they can even be applied to that special wedding day. Keep these in mind because even the closest couples have disagreements.
1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Some more things to remember:
- Make it a practice to pray together and individually for one another.
- Be open and honest with one another both in victories and struggles.
- Be vulnerable with each other, you are committing to a lifetime journey and God has brought you a helper.
- Speak kindly to one another. Words cannot be taken back so be gentle, do not call each other names. Maintain respect. Let all words be spoken in love.
- Pick the right time to talk. It is ok to step away for a moment but that should not last days, work through it.
- Be respectful. No name calling. Remember it is not about who is right or wrong it is about finding a solution that works for the situation.
- Listen to each other. It is ok to repeat what you heard in order to get clarification.
- Forgive each other. We are all just doing our best to get through the day, we are not perfect, we will all make mistakes, we will all unintentionally hurt one another.
- Commit to expressing love to one another even when you don’t feel like it. Crazy as it sounds, I promise you sometimes you won’t feel like it.
- Marriage will always be easier when you keep your focus on Christ.
Be blessed in your planning, picking and communicating!